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Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm a Quitter

I haven’t been linking up with McFatty Mondays over at The Heir to Blair in the last several months. Usually it’s because I’m not doing very well with my weight loss, but that’s not really the case lately. I’m doing pretty well with my weight, I’ve been weighing in between 156-157lbs. I’m pretty happy with that.

What I’ve been stinking at is getting my booty to CrossFit. I told Jesse a few weeks ago that I wanted to quit. He told me to go strong for a week and then decide. So I did, I went three times that week and felt really good. But, then I stopped.

I have been struggling a little bit with anxiety at night. I think I’m just feeling really stressed and pressured by all the things I am supposed to be doing and it’s just gotten to be too much. It’s not the workout itself that stressed me out, that makes me feel better, it’s knowing that I have to leave work right on time, pick up Hunter, drive 40+ minutes feeling rushed, so that I can get to CrossFit in time for their last workout. Then once I get there I pray that Hunter won’t whine or cry when I put him in the kid area. I totally understand how dumb I sound, but with everything going on in my life right now, I just can’t handle that stress and tension after a 12+ hour day.

I know I’m making excuses. I’m not giving up on working out, but I am giving up on CrossFit until Jesse gets back in September. So, what’s my plan? I’m just going to start running. When I was doing the C25K plan, which I only made it through week 6, I really enjoyed it. I can do it with Hunter, I can do it anywhere and at any time, and I can enjoy being outdoors. I know that running isn’t the complete package to getting fit, but it’s going to have to be my complete package for the time being. I need to keep my sanity. So, I packed up my workout clothes with me today and hopefully I’ll be able to talk my mom into taking Hunter for a walk at the park while I run after work today J If not, I’ll use their treadmill.

4 comments:

  1. Oh Steph... not a quitter at all, and please don't feel guilty about it. Guilt is not from God- what good does it bring you? Anxiety, fear of man, bitterness, depression, lack of sleep, the wrong kind of motivation (God sees our hearts), etc. Guilt will hold you back from being honest with yourself and even with Him. One of the things I've learned is owning up to the different seasons of life and giving yourself grace throughout them to make proper adjustments. Just because you can do something at one point in time, doesn't mean it will remain so at all times. As far as working out goes, I'm glad you found something else that works for your schedule right now. I will be praying for rest and His peace, which surpasses all understanding. Hang in there and keep Him at your forefront!

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  2. I just started the C25K plan. I actually really want to get into crossfit, but I feel like I am too out of shape to even attempt it right now. I don't think you're a quitter because you are finding something that will work for you right now. You aren't going to stick with something that stresses you out. Good luck! Stopping by from the blog hop.

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  3. Something is better than nothing. So if crossfit = no working out, and C25K = working out, I think it is an excellent decision and don't fault you for it. You have to find something you will actually do! I'm combining running with the 30 Day Shred every other day, and it is going pretty well.

    Good luck!

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  4. I was the fittest in my life when I was running. Download some good praise and worship music and rock out with God while getting in shape. Something about the mixture of endorphins and the Holy Spirit is intoxicating ;) I think you'll love it, especially during the summer months.

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Jesse is active duty Air Force and is originally from southern Minnesota. He has also managed to become a follower of just about every hobby known to man (which drives his wife crazy!).

Henry was born on July 4, 2007. His hobbies include playing with his squeaker toys, barking a little girls, dock jumping, going to the dog park, and being spoiled rotten by his grandparents.
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