Judgement

Is it just me or the judgement of other moms one of the prevalent sources of judgement in our culture? I mean there is all sorts of it going on... judging discipline styles, what you allow your children to eat, what your children wear, competition on what your child is doing vs. another child, etc. It'a a bit ridiculous and quite frankly, it makes me sick. Yes, I have to admit, I have been one to judge other moms, but I am vowing to stop. Unless a parent is physically harming their child or making absolutely reckless decisions, it's their choice how they want to raise their child.

Being a mom is tough. We are all learning as we go. We all have good days, bad days, and down right horrible days. I would think we all second guess ourselves and how we handle our children. So can't we all just come together to support each other, despite differences?

Yes, I have strong opinions on how I raise OUR child. I don't expect everyone to agree with them, but please respect it and come to the conclusion that I love my child and I am in no way harming him. I have been judged on spanking my child, letting my child eat candy and chicken nuggets, raising him to love Jesus, letting him skip his nap every once in awhile, etc. It hurts. It makes you feel like people think you are a bad parent. But...I am not going to let it have that affect on me anymore because I feel confident in how I am raising him.

I have a child who does not know any of his letters by sight... but I also have one that consistently tells others "thank you" after being given anything or helped by others. It's a matter of priorities. Yesterday after I cleaned up a poopy mess he smiled at me and said "Thank you for helping me, mommy". Aw, how my heart melted. He will learn his alphabet before long.

I do get the side eye from non-believers for raising a child in the Christian faith and choosing to parent based on that. That is one thing I refuse to get me down. A person without faith cannot possibly understand the importance of a believer to raise their child knowing Jesus as their Savior. I have chosen not to get mad, but hope that they can respect our decision to do so.

Yes, I have spanked my child. Do I choose it at all times for all actions? Absolutely not.Do I think every child needs to be spanked to be discipline? No. I am completely open to the idea that my next child might have no response to it. In that case, I would choose another method in a heartbeat. It just depends on the child and what stage they are in. Do I care if other people choose not to ever spank their children? Nope, not at all. So why would someone judge me for it?

Oh and the constant "I can't believe I saw a mother feeding her one year old candy." Blah, blah, blah. A little candy never hurt a kid. It's all a matter of moderation. I let Hunter eat candy, obviously not in place of his meals, but yes, he likes sugar, and so do I! :) But, I also respect and admire a mama who has the discipline to only feed her child only organic and fresh food at all times, more power to ya!

Breast feeding vs. formula feeding, consequences vs. positive reinforcement, natural birth vs. an epidural, pacifier vs. no pacifier, cloth diapering vs. disposable diapers, vaccines vs. no vaccines, oh the list goes on and on and on. And let me tell you, they are hot topics that mothers are torn about about. Everyone has opinions, so that is why we have the freedom to make those decisions for our own children. It is not our place to make them for other peoples' children. Ugh. SOOO over all the hate.

So yeah, I just had to get that out and maybe encourage others to try not to judge. We all our on this journey of motherhood and we all struggle and pick our battles. Have a little compassion.

Discipline

Ugh, this has been on my mind for a little while. How do you discipline a two year old? I don't have the answers, but I can speak from our experience what has been working in our family. It's an ever changing process with Hunter. I am a big fan of changing up how you deal with things based on what works or is working at the time for your child.

A firm "no" was the first thing that we started with Hunter, about a year ago. At the time it worked well and he could tell we did not approve of his actions and would stop. After he got a bit more stubborn, that changed, he would just look at us, as if saying "Really, you think that's going to stop me?!".

So, we started using timeouts. Oh, they were my best friend for several months. Hunter would hang his head in time out and then rush over to me to apologize. We would hug and then talk about why he went to timeout. I got to the point where I wasn't physically putting him in time out, I would just tell him to go to timeout and he would. Oh those were the days!! After a couple months, nope, not working anymore. He would just sit there with no remorse and think nothing of it and then go back and do whatever had gotten him into timeout five minutes before.

So, we switched to spankings. Go ahead and judge me, that's fine. But I do believe in spankings. I've never done it out of anger nor have I actually physically caused harm to my child. Jesse even teases me that I have never really given him a "spanking" just a tap on a diaper covered bottom. Whatever. It worked. It would shock him a little at first and then it hurt his feelings. His bottom lip would stick out and he would say he was sorry. In the last month... nope no reaction, just a stare down.

So... that leads me to where we are at right now. We have moved on to taking things away for bad behavior. He hits the puppy, he gets a toy or the TV taken away. He doesn't clean up his toys when I ask them to, he's not going to get to use them for the afternoon. This has been working like a charm. I think it's just a natural progression with age, what "hurts" them the most at the time. Right now, the thought of not being able to watch the rest of Octonauts sends him into complete panic and he rushes to correct his behavior.

Call me crazy, but I like the discipline aspect of parenting. I know that it turns me into a "bad guy" at the moment, but it shaping him for the future. It's offering him guidance into becoming the man that God wants him to be. So yeah, when I see progress in his actions, words, and affection towards other, I like being the primary one to guide him. There is not doubt in my mind that being willing to discipline your child is an act of service and love for them. I love my son enough to want to mold and guide him to greatness.