I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it....life with more than one child is no cake walk, it's hard! It's chaotic and stressful, as well as rewarding. Some days I feel like I'm rocking this mom of two gig and other days I feel like I'm drowning and failing miserably.
I've had several days that I am all alone with both boys and am out and about all day. We might be running Hunter to preschool, then I run errands with Hudson, pick up Hunter, take Hudson to the doctor, etc. Those days surprisingly are the ones that I feel most confident, I feel like I can handle anything they throw at me. It's the days at home when Hudson is crying and needing all my attention while Hunter is yelling that he went poop and needs me to wipe his bottom, that's when I get overwhelmed. Or I'm dealing with a blowout diaper and Hunter is whining and asking for a snack for the tenth time in the last minute that I became tied up with a poop explosion that only a bath will fix.
But...it's so rewarding at times. I love the peaceful times when I'm nursing Hudson and Hunter is curled up under my arm. Or when Hunter and I make up nicknames for baby Hudson, like "Sir poops a lot" or "Mr. Crabby Pants", or "Little baby peanut". These boys bring me so much joy. I try to take a deep breath and remind myself of that during the stressful and overwhelming parts of the day.
I'm still adjusting to life with these two boys, hopefully it will start feeling more routine soon. Right now, I'm just trying to take one day at a time...who am I kidding, more like one hour at a time. Eventually, we will get in the swing of it and life will go more smoothly.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Judgement
Is it just me or the judgement of other moms one of the prevalent sources of judgement in our culture? I mean there is all sorts of it going on... judging discipline styles, what you allow your children to eat, what your children wear, competition on what your child is doing vs. another child, etc. It'a a bit ridiculous and quite frankly, it makes me sick. Yes, I have to admit, I have been one to judge other moms, but I am vowing to stop. Unless a parent is physically harming their child or making absolutely reckless decisions, it's their choice how they want to raise their child.
Being a mom is tough. We are all learning as we go. We all have good days, bad days, and down right horrible days. I would think we all second guess ourselves and how we handle our children. So can't we all just come together to support each other, despite differences?
Yes, I have strong opinions on how I raise OUR child. I don't expect everyone to agree with them, but please respect it and come to the conclusion that I love my child and I am in no way harming him. I have been judged on spanking my child, letting my child eat candy and chicken nuggets, raising him to love Jesus, letting him skip his nap every once in awhile, etc. It hurts. It makes you feel like people think you are a bad parent. But...I am not going to let it have that affect on me anymore because I feel confident in how I am raising him.
I have a child who does not know any of his letters by sight... but I also have one that consistently tells others "thank you" after being given anything or helped by others. It's a matter of priorities. Yesterday after I cleaned up a poopy mess he smiled at me and said "Thank you for helping me, mommy". Aw, how my heart melted. He will learn his alphabet before long.
I do get the side eye from non-believers for raising a child in the Christian faith and choosing to parent based on that. That is one thing I refuse to get me down. A person without faith cannot possibly understand the importance of a believer to raise their child knowing Jesus as their Savior. I have chosen not to get mad, but hope that they can respect our decision to do so.
Yes, I have spanked my child. Do I choose it at all times for all actions? Absolutely not.Do I think every child needs to be spanked to be discipline? No. I am completely open to the idea that my next child might have no response to it. In that case, I would choose another method in a heartbeat. It just depends on the child and what stage they are in. Do I care if other people choose not to ever spank their children? Nope, not at all. So why would someone judge me for it?
Oh and the constant "I can't believe I saw a mother feeding her one year old candy." Blah, blah, blah. A little candy never hurt a kid. It's all a matter of moderation. I let Hunter eat candy, obviously not in place of his meals, but yes, he likes sugar, and so do I! :) But, I also respect and admire a mama who has the discipline to only feed her child only organic and fresh food at all times, more power to ya!
Breast feeding vs. formula feeding, consequences vs. positive reinforcement, natural birth vs. an epidural, pacifier vs. no pacifier, cloth diapering vs. disposable diapers, vaccines vs. no vaccines, oh the list goes on and on and on. And let me tell you, they are hot topics that mothers are torn about about. Everyone has opinions, so that is why we have the freedom to make those decisions for our own children. It is not our place to make them for other peoples' children. Ugh. SOOO over all the hate.
So yeah, I just had to get that out and maybe encourage others to try not to judge. We all our on this journey of motherhood and we all struggle and pick our battles. Have a little compassion.
Being a mom is tough. We are all learning as we go. We all have good days, bad days, and down right horrible days. I would think we all second guess ourselves and how we handle our children. So can't we all just come together to support each other, despite differences?
Yes, I have strong opinions on how I raise OUR child. I don't expect everyone to agree with them, but please respect it and come to the conclusion that I love my child and I am in no way harming him. I have been judged on spanking my child, letting my child eat candy and chicken nuggets, raising him to love Jesus, letting him skip his nap every once in awhile, etc. It hurts. It makes you feel like people think you are a bad parent. But...I am not going to let it have that affect on me anymore because I feel confident in how I am raising him.
I have a child who does not know any of his letters by sight... but I also have one that consistently tells others "thank you" after being given anything or helped by others. It's a matter of priorities. Yesterday after I cleaned up a poopy mess he smiled at me and said "Thank you for helping me, mommy". Aw, how my heart melted. He will learn his alphabet before long.
I do get the side eye from non-believers for raising a child in the Christian faith and choosing to parent based on that. That is one thing I refuse to get me down. A person without faith cannot possibly understand the importance of a believer to raise their child knowing Jesus as their Savior. I have chosen not to get mad, but hope that they can respect our decision to do so.
Yes, I have spanked my child. Do I choose it at all times for all actions? Absolutely not.Do I think every child needs to be spanked to be discipline? No. I am completely open to the idea that my next child might have no response to it. In that case, I would choose another method in a heartbeat. It just depends on the child and what stage they are in. Do I care if other people choose not to ever spank their children? Nope, not at all. So why would someone judge me for it?
Oh and the constant "I can't believe I saw a mother feeding her one year old candy." Blah, blah, blah. A little candy never hurt a kid. It's all a matter of moderation. I let Hunter eat candy, obviously not in place of his meals, but yes, he likes sugar, and so do I! :) But, I also respect and admire a mama who has the discipline to only feed her child only organic and fresh food at all times, more power to ya!
Breast feeding vs. formula feeding, consequences vs. positive reinforcement, natural birth vs. an epidural, pacifier vs. no pacifier, cloth diapering vs. disposable diapers, vaccines vs. no vaccines, oh the list goes on and on and on. And let me tell you, they are hot topics that mothers are torn about about. Everyone has opinions, so that is why we have the freedom to make those decisions for our own children. It is not our place to make them for other peoples' children. Ugh. SOOO over all the hate.
So yeah, I just had to get that out and maybe encourage others to try not to judge. We all our on this journey of motherhood and we all struggle and pick our battles. Have a little compassion.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Goodnight Hunter.
I think I have mentioned a couple times about how easy Hunter has been to put to bed. I just set him in his crib and he waves bye bye to me. That is it... he just reads a book or snuggles with his pal Scout until he's ready to fall asleep. Love it!
Tonight he wanted to bring his sippy cup with him, I said fine. He also wanted to bring his sleeping bag into the crib, that was fine as well. He laid right down and gave me the standard wave goodbye.
I am in absolutely no rush to move him to a toddler bed. He seems to like his little "cage" as I affectionately call it. And he shows no interest in trying to escape it. So, if that means that he's in a crib until he's eighteen, sounds pretty darn good to me! :)
Tonight he wanted to bring his sippy cup with him, I said fine. He also wanted to bring his sleeping bag into the crib, that was fine as well. He laid right down and gave me the standard wave goodbye.
I am in absolutely no rush to move him to a toddler bed. He seems to like his little "cage" as I affectionately call it. And he shows no interest in trying to escape it. So, if that means that he's in a crib until he's eighteen, sounds pretty darn good to me! :)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Self Esteem Vs. Self Respect
I have been reading the book "Parenting by The Book" by John Rosemond. I'm about a third of the way through the book and absolutely love it. It is written by a physiologist that is a born again Christian.
He's got me convinced that Postmodern Psychological Parenting is a bunch of... well, crap! Nowadays, there are all these guidelines. Don't punish your children, simply reward with good behave. Have a democratic family where children and parents are peers. Children act out because of how they were treated as a child. Don't bruise a child's self esteem, it is the most important thing for a child to grow up to be a successful adult. The list goes on and on. I can't stand these ideas.
Children are children, parents are parents... it is not an equal relationship! We are called to guide our children and raise them into followers of Christ. Children are born sinful, just like we were. It is the job of the parent to discipline them and have harsh enough consequences so that they do not repeat the negative behavior.
Self esteem boils down to love of one's self. I do not find this an important thing to ingrain in a child, in fact, it does them a disservice. Self esteem is what breeds selfishness, entitlement, and aggression. It leads individuals to look to be served rather than to serve others.
Self respect on the other hand is developed by treating others well,serving people regardless of who they are, and being humbled. It involves respecting others and knowing that you are doing the right thing. Success for someone with high self respect is less about material objects and more about loving your neighbor. Jesus told his disciples that they must first "deny himself" in order to become a true follower of his. It's not all about us, it's all about Him! "For everyone who exalts himself with be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 14:11
This was a great eye opener for me in the way that I want to parent and also what I strive to become myself. I want to parent Hunter in a way that teaches him to respect his parents and all other authority figures, teach him to serve others before himself, and also accountability for his own actions. That might mean that I need to spank my child, bruise his ego, and in turn be criticized by other parents. But I say bring it on, Jesse and I are called to a duty of raising our children in a way that glorifies His name.
He's got me convinced that Postmodern Psychological Parenting is a bunch of... well, crap! Nowadays, there are all these guidelines. Don't punish your children, simply reward with good behave. Have a democratic family where children and parents are peers. Children act out because of how they were treated as a child. Don't bruise a child's self esteem, it is the most important thing for a child to grow up to be a successful adult. The list goes on and on. I can't stand these ideas.
Children are children, parents are parents... it is not an equal relationship! We are called to guide our children and raise them into followers of Christ. Children are born sinful, just like we were. It is the job of the parent to discipline them and have harsh enough consequences so that they do not repeat the negative behavior.
Self esteem boils down to love of one's self. I do not find this an important thing to ingrain in a child, in fact, it does them a disservice. Self esteem is what breeds selfishness, entitlement, and aggression. It leads individuals to look to be served rather than to serve others.
Self respect on the other hand is developed by treating others well,serving people regardless of who they are, and being humbled. It involves respecting others and knowing that you are doing the right thing. Success for someone with high self respect is less about material objects and more about loving your neighbor. Jesus told his disciples that they must first "deny himself" in order to become a true follower of his. It's not all about us, it's all about Him! "For everyone who exalts himself with be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 14:11
This was a great eye opener for me in the way that I want to parent and also what I strive to become myself. I want to parent Hunter in a way that teaches him to respect his parents and all other authority figures, teach him to serve others before himself, and also accountability for his own actions. That might mean that I need to spank my child, bruise his ego, and in turn be criticized by other parents. But I say bring it on, Jesse and I are called to a duty of raising our children in a way that glorifies His name.
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