I cried for the first five minutes of my drive home after work today, and I have to say, I feel better. Why did I cry?
Well, it doesn't help that I was just plain tired. But, Jesse is coming home at some point in the next week or so. What?! Why would I cry over that?! Of course I am thrilled by that! But... there is a date and a time for his arrival planned, so of course, I'm thinking about what it will be like when he comes home, what should we do, how amazing it will be.
And then the wave of emotion hits me. It makes me so homesick for having my husband back. For the last couple of months, I didn't allow myself to think about what it's like to have a complete family at home. I haven't allowed myself to miss having someone to come home to at the end of a rough day. You just put one foot in front of the other and go through the motions of living life with what is in front of you. But now I am remembering what having my other half in my daily life is like. To have someone someone to hug you when you walk through the door at night, someone to wake up to on a lazy weekend morning, to share the joys of parenthood with when Hunter does something funny or new, or snuggle up to while dozing off to sleep. It seems almost unbearable to make it another week.
So after staying nearly tear free for the last four months, I just needed a good cry a week before my husband comes home because it just feels like a week too far away.