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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Hearing Test

So....where to start? Well the day after Hudson was born, he did not pass his newborn hearing screening test at the hospital. They figured it was amniotic fluid that hadn't cleared out and had a schedule an additional screening. Fast forward a few weeks and he didn't pass a second screening. I still wasn't that worried. I wasn't told not to bring other children with me, so Hunter was in the room and was not doing a very good job of being silent. The tech said that can cause some issues during the hearing test, but still referred us to see an audiologist.

I asked a few people to pray for Hudson's ears. And I continued to do so daily. I asked God to give him perfect hearing and to let the next test go smoothly. I woke up this morning and prayed. But this time it was different. I suddenly felt only the need to pray for His will be done and to give our family peace in whatever God's plan was for Hudson. I prayed that I would thank Him for being so faithful regardless of the outcome and to give all glory to Him.

This afternoon, Jesse stayed home with Hunter while I took Hudson to his appointment for more extensive testing. He needed to sleep during the testing, so I kept him awake and unfed for a couple hours before the appointment. While in the waiting room, I took a picture of him and posted it on Instagram asking for prayers. I sat in the waiting room and was comforted by all the kind words and knowing that there were several people out there praying for us at that very moment.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App


Once we got there, the doctor had me change him, swaddle him, and feed him. He fell right asleep and I was able to hold him during the hour long testing. The testing measured his brain waves while different sounds at several volumes were played into his ears. I watched the doctors face during the testing and I thought I sensed some sadness in her eyes as she conducted the tests.

At the end of the testing, she told me that he has moderate hearing loss in both ears. It is permanent and he will need hearing aides. She said that it is so great that it was caught this early because he will not be delayed in his speech or learning nearly as much as if we didn't find out until he was two or older. I tried to keep it together, but a few tears rolled down my face. How could this be happening?!

I made it to the car and then just cried and cried. I finally called Jesse and continued to cry before I could break the news to him. He just felt bad for Hudson. I had a million thoughts running through my head. "Will he feel left out at school?" "He won't ever be able to join the military." "What if kids make fun of him?" "What if he's about to get hit in a parking lot and he can't hear me when I yell for him to watch out?!" Yeah, us moms are a bit crazy.

I've cried off and on tonight. It's rough and I can't help but just be sad for my little guy. But, I am thankful that I haven't felt mad or bitter, nor have I questioned God. He has a plan for my littlest guy. And His plans are perfect, mine are not. We will be blessed by this, not condemned by it. I will still pray for miraculous healing, but if not, I know that it will benefit Hudson in ways that I have no idea about right now. I pray that Jesse and I welcome this challenge and that it makes us more patient and stronger. I pray that it will teach Hunter about compassion. I pray that it will make Hudson stronger than he would be otherwise, that he will have an amazing testimony to share one day.

Please pray for Hudson, that God's will, will be done and that we grow as a family through this. We have to schedule another testing, get a referral from the ENT doctor, and then will be going to Mary Bridge to get Hudson fitted for hearing aides. I will make sure to keep you all updated.

19 comments:

  1. I have been thinking about you guys all day. Stephanie, you are a strong and amazing mother to the boys. You have a wonderful attitude towards everything God is placing on your shoulders. If God leads you to it, He will take your hand and guide you through it. (hugs)

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  2. I have tears in my eyes, not for Hudson because I know he will be better than ok, but for you. My heart breaks for you as a mom having to worry about your kid. I will keep you in my thoughts, give Mr. Hudson a squish from me.

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  3. I have tears in my eyes, not for Hudson because I know he will be better than ok, but for you. My heart breaks for you as a mom having to worry about your kid. I will keep you in my thoughts, give Mr. Hudson a squish from me.

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  4. I'm so sorry you're going through this! But you're outlook and attitude are so admirable. Hudson will get the care he needs and I know that with Gods help, you will all be alight! Thinking and praying for you!

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  5. Oh geez Phanie, I'm so sorry :( I know this must be rough, but you definitely can be thankful for the fact that, hearing problems aside, you have a happy, healthy baby boy. And you shouldn't worry about him being left out in school or anything like that... he has a big brother that will be his best friend and protect him :)

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  6. Your attitude will be such a blessing to Hudson. They can do amazing thing with hearing these days, I have faith that Hudson will very much have a normal life. Mary Bridge is a great hospital, they will do everything they can to help Hudson. I have a cousin who is deaf, I will share more with you about him once you learn more about Hudson's condition. Hugs and prayers mama.

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  7. Your attitude will be such a blessing to Hudson. They can do amazing thing with hearing these days, I have faith that Hudson will very much have a normal life. Mary Bridge is a great hospital, they will do everything they can to help Hudson. I have a cousin who is deaf, I will share more with you about him once you learn more about Hudson's condition. Hugs and prayers mama.

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  8. I'm so sorry Stephanie. Hearing that our children aren't 100% is so difficult. I had a total melt down today regarding Parker's hips. There are good days and bad days and when people tell you it could be worse it's so frustrating, (at least I found it frustrating). I know my situation is totally different, and that we don't "know" each other, but if you ever want to talk please reach out to me! Sending prayers of comfort and peace to your family.

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  9. I'm so sorry. I think you guys will be just fine despite the challenges ahead, but I'm also believing for miraculous healing, in Jesus' Name. Keep us posted :)

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  10. Stephanie and Jesse I love you and your children more than words can express. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers! God does have a plan, and someday it will be clearer. Sending you both huge hugs!!!! Love me!

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  11. You are so strong and such an amazing mama!! The words you wrote were so powerful I couldn't help but get goosebumps! Your faith in our God will carry u through anything and everything because while u are carrying Hudson.... God has you both in his arms!!! My niece was born with no hearing in one ear and severe hearing loss in the other... She has a cochlear and a hearing aide.... She's 2 1/2 and the most chatty and smart little thing ever!!! It's amazing what can come of these situations!! Especially when they catch it early on! I know it's hard and the fear is there and your family will be in my prayers and lots of love being sent your way!

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  12. God Bless you Steph! Stay focused on that path...Hudson is and will be okay..,and everyone will grow from this. Thank goodness for the technology and testing that we have today...you are an amazing woman, mother, wife, friend...I will pray for those sweet little ears....and for you and Jesse...love you all!!!

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  13. Shocked! Saddened :( with out a doubt there is a wonderful plan ahead for your family and Hudson. You go ahead...cry and worry...think of the what if's. But in the near future you know this news will get easier....and you won't be as scared anymore....because Hudson is heathy and he is going to be a happy boy just like you envisioned before you met him. Sending lots of love...and yes...this girl does pray, so Hudson will be in my thoughts and prayers :) much love and compation, [Tera]

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  14. I somehow happened upon you on Instagram a few months ago. I think it's pretty amazing how God is using social media to His Glory because you have been my encourager on Instagram and now I hope to offer you a few words to uplift you. Two years ago when Eli was diagnosed with leukemia I really could not imagine the blessings that would come from that horrible news. But God has a way of doing that for us-using those bad things in life for good. I know that He will do this for your entire family. He already is preparing you and has been for sometime, to be the parents that Hudson needs to guide him through life-no matter the obstacles. I feel like I was picked especially for Eli with his struggles. I believe God intended us as parents long before he was diagnosed. I can see God's clear presence even in the personality of Emily as a younger very laid back child who has to be pushed off to other people from time to time. I believe this for your family as well. Hudson is so very blessed to have you as parents for your faith in God, for your marriage, for so many faithful friends you have made before he was created. He is blessed to have Hunter as his big brother. I loved how you asked that God would grant Hunter compassion through all of this. What a blessed thought! So if on days you feel the most burdened you can see the many blessings in this news you will see truly that God has given you more than you could ever imagine. Please know I am praying for your family. (My username on IG is mandi_z).

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  15. I'm so sorry you and your family has to go through this. You are a fantastic momma and Hudson will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  16. As a momma it just breaks your heart to get news like this. I'm so sorry that you guys will have this challenge in life- but you have the right attitude about it! Your positivity and faith in The Lord is such an inspiration to everyone. Hudson is blessed to have you as his Mommy. You never know- maybe he will grow up to be the CEO of a children's hearing loss program! I'm thinking about you guys today :)

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  17. I'll be praying for you all.

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  18. You are a very strong mother! I will keep him and your family in my prayers.

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  19. oh, friend. It just breaks my heart to hear your heart breaking, but he is so perfect.

    So much grace & prayer for your heart.

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Jesse is active duty Air Force and is originally from southern Minnesota. He has also managed to become a follower of just about every hobby known to man (which drives his wife crazy!).

Henry was born on July 4, 2007. His hobbies include playing with his squeaker toys, barking a little girls, dock jumping, going to the dog park, and being spoiled rotten by his grandparents.
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