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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Blessings

Wow, what a world of difference a day makes. I felt like I was drowning when the doctor gave me the news yesterday. It was all I could do not hyperventilate on my walk back to my car. I am still sad, but today, I am filled with hope and gratitude.

I am in awe of how many people reached out through e-mail, texts, Facebook, Instagram, etc. to show their love, support, and prayers for Hudson and our family. THANK YOU! Your words mean so much to us right now as we cope with this.

Hudson slept from 8pm until 1am and then ate and went right back down until 6:30am. That is much better than usual! I guess we all needed a good night of sleep. This morning, I was immediately in a joyful mood. I went to pray and all I could do is to thank God. My heart has already been changed by this experience. I prayed to God yesterday morning that I would thank him for any outcome. And I did not intentionally do that this morning, but that is all that would come out. Prayers have been answered.

I've been holding Hudson this morning and he smiled for the first time, over and over. He is a happy, healthy little boy. It brought me so much happiness and peace to see him smile. The timing couldn't of been more perfect.

Yesterday, I went through a moment of feeling shame that I would have a child with a handicap or disability. This morning...I couldn't be more proud to be his mom. God must see me so differently than I see myself. I see myself as being weak, impatient, self centered. How in the heck does He see me fit to be this child's mom? How am I worthy to deserve this beautiful and unique little boy? But nonetheless, God's plan is perfect and I am humbled and honored that we are strong enough to be able to rise to the challenge of being his parents. I am weak and unworthy but I have every confidence that with Christ, we can do this and we can do it greatly. We will be his advocates, his teachers, his support, and his biggest fans. I do not know anything about how at this moment, but we will learn.

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8 comments:

  1. Your faith is awesome, many of us could take lessons from you. Have a lovely day with your little smiler.

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  2. You are the perfect person to be his mommy. God knew who was forming in your womb, and you are fully equipped to parent this precious little boy.

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  3. I am just getting all caught up. First of all, I am so sorry that he has been diagnosed with hearing loss. That must have been so hard for you both. But I feel so grateful that you are his parents. I know you will do whatever is best for him and he will succeed because of two supportive parents who love him no matter what.

    I had tears in my eyes because your faith just astounds me. I'm so impressed with your ability to rely on Him during this challenging time.

    I also wanted to tell you that I am fully deaf in one ear. They don't know how it happened but it was from a very young age. I had to have speech therapy but could never wear hearing aides because of the type of hearing loss I had. In 2001, when they had advances in hearing aides I was finally able to get one. Even years after my loss was diagnosed my mom cried when I put it on. It is so hard as parents. And I saw that it had been hard for her to know that one of her children couldn't hear as well as other people.

    Has it been a challenge in my life? Definitely. But I never let it stop me. I know it's not the same since I have one ear that I can hear out of. But I just wanted to share my story with you. I hope it brought you some comfort.

    Love to you and your sweet boy. He will be okay.

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  4. I had similar thoughts at Parker's diagnosis....and felt unfit to be a mother...so happy to hear today is a better day. Remember to give yourself grace on the not so good days!

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  5. Your faith is awesome, many of us could take lessons from you. Have a lovely day with your little smiler.

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  6. I really admire your strength and faith :-).

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  7. ::fist bumps:: You were definitely chosen to be his.

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Jesse is active duty Air Force and is originally from southern Minnesota. He has also managed to become a follower of just about every hobby known to man (which drives his wife crazy!).

Henry was born on July 4, 2007. His hobbies include playing with his squeaker toys, barking a little girls, dock jumping, going to the dog park, and being spoiled rotten by his grandparents.
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