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Monday, April 2, 2012

Judgement

Is it just me or the judgement of other moms one of the prevalent sources of judgement in our culture? I mean there is all sorts of it going on... judging discipline styles, what you allow your children to eat, what your children wear, competition on what your child is doing vs. another child, etc. It'a a bit ridiculous and quite frankly, it makes me sick. Yes, I have to admit, I have been one to judge other moms, but I am vowing to stop. Unless a parent is physically harming their child or making absolutely reckless decisions, it's their choice how they want to raise their child.

Being a mom is tough. We are all learning as we go. We all have good days, bad days, and down right horrible days. I would think we all second guess ourselves and how we handle our children. So can't we all just come together to support each other, despite differences?

Yes, I have strong opinions on how I raise OUR child. I don't expect everyone to agree with them, but please respect it and come to the conclusion that I love my child and I am in no way harming him. I have been judged on spanking my child, letting my child eat candy and chicken nuggets, raising him to love Jesus, letting him skip his nap every once in awhile, etc. It hurts. It makes you feel like people think you are a bad parent. But...I am not going to let it have that affect on me anymore because I feel confident in how I am raising him.

I have a child who does not know any of his letters by sight... but I also have one that consistently tells others "thank you" after being given anything or helped by others. It's a matter of priorities. Yesterday after I cleaned up a poopy mess he smiled at me and said "Thank you for helping me, mommy". Aw, how my heart melted. He will learn his alphabet before long.

I do get the side eye from non-believers for raising a child in the Christian faith and choosing to parent based on that. That is one thing I refuse to get me down. A person without faith cannot possibly understand the importance of a believer to raise their child knowing Jesus as their Savior. I have chosen not to get mad, but hope that they can respect our decision to do so.

Yes, I have spanked my child. Do I choose it at all times for all actions? Absolutely not.Do I think every child needs to be spanked to be discipline? No. I am completely open to the idea that my next child might have no response to it. In that case, I would choose another method in a heartbeat. It just depends on the child and what stage they are in. Do I care if other people choose not to ever spank their children? Nope, not at all. So why would someone judge me for it?

Oh and the constant "I can't believe I saw a mother feeding her one year old candy." Blah, blah, blah. A little candy never hurt a kid. It's all a matter of moderation. I let Hunter eat candy, obviously not in place of his meals, but yes, he likes sugar, and so do I! :) But, I also respect and admire a mama who has the discipline to only feed her child only organic and fresh food at all times, more power to ya!

Breast feeding vs. formula feeding, consequences vs. positive reinforcement, natural birth vs. an epidural, pacifier vs. no pacifier, cloth diapering vs. disposable diapers, vaccines vs. no vaccines, oh the list goes on and on and on. And let me tell you, they are hot topics that mothers are torn about about. Everyone has opinions, so that is why we have the freedom to make those decisions for our own children. It is not our place to make them for other peoples' children. Ugh. SOOO over all the hate.

So yeah, I just had to get that out and maybe encourage others to try not to judge. We all our on this journey of motherhood and we all struggle and pick our battles. Have a little compassion.

3 comments:

  1. This is real good Steph...
    I've learned that it's hard NOT to judge... we have to decide and work at it. We so want everyone to agree and believe in the same things we do... and push for it. But you're right, it's not anyone's business how I decide to raise MY kids and likewise it's not my business how anyone else does either! We're all different... thank God for that! And we should be celebrating it, not tearing each other down. Thanks for the reminder!

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  2. Love this post. I totally agree!

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  3. Agree! We all make the decision of what is best for our OWN kid. No judgment here!

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Jesse is active duty Air Force and is originally from southern Minnesota. He has also managed to become a follower of just about every hobby known to man (which drives his wife crazy!).

Henry was born on July 4, 2007. His hobbies include playing with his squeaker toys, barking a little girls, dock jumping, going to the dog park, and being spoiled rotten by his grandparents.
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