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Sunday, August 22, 2010

Marriage - Keys to making it work

I've decided to write a weekly blog regarding the message at church for the week. It helps me share the Word, the message that Pastor Dean conveys, and helps me put to words what my thoughts and take is on the subject.

Last night the message was on marriage and the keys to making it work in a Christian household. Here are the 4 keys that were given:

1. Be a Jesus family, not a religious family. Religion will not hold your marriage together, Jesus will.

2. Have no deal breakers.

3. Agree that you both married an imperfect person.

4. Marriage is God's solution to you both becoming the person that God has destined you to be.

I needed this message, just like most people who are married. Marriage is one of the most challenging and difficult things that people go through. When you get married, it feels like "puppies & rainbows" to many of us, everything is wonderful and perfect. We are so disappointed when there is a storm or when rough times come. It is a lifelong commitment to constantly make the effort to understand each other better and be willing to change when need be. But, marriage is also such an amazing and rewarding experience. To know that you will never be alone, that someone will always be on your side no matter what, is a reward that tops any other.

Let's talk about the "keys". To commit to being a Jesus family is one of the greatest decisions that can be made in a marriage. It's not about following rituals, it is about giving all thanks to our Savior and allowing him to be the biggest presence in our marriage and family.

Having no deal breakers. Wow, does society tell us differently or what?! So many people think that people who stick by their spouse no matter what have no backbones. It can be quite the opposite. Isn't it harder to stick through hard times than to leave? Jesse and I are committed to staying together no matter what. I am so glad to know that we are on the same page with this and have the reassurance that we will make it work no matter how imperfect we both are. If he cheats, I will stay. If he become a drug addict, I will stay. If he becomes paralyzed, I will stay. In any situation, we will stay and we will pray.

Agree that you both married an imperfect person. This seems like a no-brainer, but how many times to we get caught up in our spouses imperfections and forget our own? It drives me nuts that Jesse doesn't make the bed and gets toothpaste all over the bathroom counter. He doesn't like that I don't always hang up my towel or that I set my alarm for three different times every morning. But....we are imperfect and we love eachother anyways.

Marriage is God's solution to making us the people that He wants us to be. How true is this? I have changed so much and so has Jesse, simply from being together. We need to trust that He knows what we need more than we know what we need.

It breaks my heart to see so many marriages failing around us. I pray that God's hand is revealed in all of our family and friend's marriages and that their hearts are opened to letting him be a part of their struggles.


  1. Hi, I'm a new follower! I love this post, especially: "Marriage is God's solution to making us the people that He wants us to be." <---Love this! :)

  2. Great post! I love what you wrote about the deal breakers. I've always felt that way too, and have gotten flamed for being a "weak and needy individual". Just HAVING a list of deal breakers implies that your marriage is breakable. I was encouraged by your post. Thanks!

  3. Great post Steph! This is a great reminder for all married couples to remind themselves of the important things & to always be commited to Jesus & each other.

  4. great post!! it's so great to readinsights on marriage, and have them be positive since so many asptect of marriage in our society is negative!!


Jesse is active duty Air Force and is originally from southern Minnesota. He has also managed to become a follower of just about every hobby known to man (which drives his wife crazy!).

Henry was born on July 4, 2007. His hobbies include playing with his squeaker toys, barking a little girls, dock jumping, going to the dog park, and being spoiled rotten by his grandparents.

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