Last week, while praying, I felt led to fast. I had never really fasted before, but was ready to be obedient. I woke up last Thursday morning and knew that I wasn't supposed to eat anything except for dinners until after Hudson's appointment on Monday afternoon. When Jesse got home that afternoon, I told him what I was being led to do, and he joined me in fasting. If you've never done a prayer fast, the idea of it is to remember to pray. Every time I felt hungry, irritable, uncomfortable, lightheaded, etc...I prayed. And I prayed and I prayed.
A couple hours before Hudson's appointment yesterday, I broke down into tears. I cried into Jesse's shoulder and told him that I had never felt so desperate for Jesus. I've been pretty fortunate in my life to have not been in many situations that I had no control over. But...this journey with Hudson has brought me to my knees. I need Jesus to fix my little boy. Don't get me wrong, I am prepared to deal with his hearing loss, but I just know that God wants to heal him. Whether it be now or in 50 years, I believe with my entire being that he will be healed.
I pulled myself together and we took Hudson into his appointment. I held Hudson on my lap in a sound booth while the Audiologist spoke and played sounds into speakers on each side of the room. Whenever Hudson would look to the sound, she would make toys in that area light up and make noises. He first did it without his hearing aids. He seemed to be turning his head to the noises a lot, but I didn't get my hopes up, because I know that he can hear sound. We then did the same with his hearing aids. When we were done....the doctor looked a little baffled.
She said that Hudson was hearing high pitch frequencies at decibels much lower than he should be able to hear them at. She said that she played them higher and higher and that he was hearing them at normal hearing levels. The ABR (the extensive test measuring brain waves that was used originally to diagnose him) said that he shouldn't hear those frequencies until 50 decibels, but he was hearing them at 25 decibels. She also said that he had a lot of fluid in his ears, which would make his hearing worse. But no...his hearing appeared to of improved. So, she wants us to get the fluid in his ears cleared up with his peditrician and then get a referral for another ABR because something was not adding up.
And they brought to Jesus a man who was deaf and had a speech impediment, and they begged him to lay his hand on him. And taking him aside from the crowd privately, he put his fingers into his ears, and after spitting touched his tongue. And look up to heaven, he sighed and said to him, "Ephphatha," that is, "Be opened." And his ears were opened...and he spoke plainly, And Jesus charged them to tell no one, but the more he charged them, the more zealously they proclaimed it. And they were astonished beyond measure, saying "He has done all things well. He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak. Mark 7:32-37
Keep on asking, and you shall receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened for you. Matthew 7:7
I also know through the Word, that Hudson is the way he is because it is God's will for the time being. If it's God's will for him to have hearing loss forever, that is fine and is His will. We are prepared for it.
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? "Neither this man or his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:1-3
So some would say it's a radical faith to "expect" our prayers to be answered or that it is a silly and blind faith. But isn't that what faith is? The belief in something that we cannot see? I have complete faith in God's word and I choose to take it literally and know that if Jesus is the same today as he was yesterday....and he was healing people left and right in the past, of course he can still heal in the present.
Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. We are so grateful for all the love and support that has been given to us and Hudson.